7 Reasons You Should Date a Wisconsin Woman

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Ever since the ladies of California got their anthem with the incorrectly spelled “California Gurls”, I’ve been looking for something that lauds the beauty and know-how of my fellow female cheeseheads.

Since I haven’t seen it—and since I’ve lived my life around amazing Midwestern ladies—I am here to inform you on why Wisconsin women are awesome.

These are 7 reasons you should count yourself lucky if you manage to snag a woman from our great state.

(And yes, I know “California Gurls” came out like three years ago. I have trouble letting go sometimes!)

1. We’re Tough

People like to refer to Midwesterners as “hearty.”

I used to be suspicious this term was just a way to say “fat” and get away with it, but I’ve grown to like it.

Winters are long and cars get stuck in the road, but ladies from the cheese state know how to roll with the punches.

I’ve known more than a few Wis. women who have been bucked off angry horses and managed to walk away in one piece.

We’ll just shrug and say, “Come on life, what else you got?

 2. We’re Hilarious

I’m pretty sure Wisconsinites are funny for the same reason the Iowa Writers Workshop is home to the best writers in the world.

Winter. Say it with me. Wiiiiinter. (Oh god, so long! Why so long?)

The argument of whether or not women can be funny is dumb enough without adding “Wisconsin women” as a qualifier, so if you’ve never met one you’ll have to take my word.

Wisconsin women are witty, quick on the uptake, and have a mastery of curse words that would make the late great George Carlin blush.

 3. We’re Handy

Contrary to popular belief, not everyone from Wisconsin grew up on a dairy farm.

Even so, Wisconsin ladies know how to get things done.

I know women who do woodwork, make their own clothes, grow their own food, and have a decent mastery of all things mechanical.

Even those of us who aren’t quite so good at the handywoman thing (I’m pretty sure I got an F- in shop class) know how to take care of ourselves.

We can make fires, fish, camp, and kill scary bugs like a champ.

If Wisconsin had to send a delegate to the Hunger Games I think we’d do pretty well. You know, as well as you can in the Hunger Games.

4. We Look After Our Own

Everyone has that friend, especially one you know from way back, that gets together with you and acts like a jerkbag.

We may take potshots at each other and tease each other mercilessly, but when it comes down to it you know we’d have to your back in a fight.

Whether it’s saving your female friend from the douche at the bar or standing up for a sibling, we protect each other.

Yeah my friends may sing the song “Crab People” from South Park whenever I get sunburned (jerks), but they also threaten to beat up my ex-boyfriends. If that’s not love, what is?

 5. We’re Smart

We’ve got sexy, sexy brains in Wisconsin. It’s true!

Just take a look at this list of the 100 smartest cities in America recently published in VentureBeat.

Madison comes in at number 8, Appleton’s at 12, and even Oshkosh-Neenah ranks at 51. (Green Bay’s not on the list. Sorry guys. Better luck next year.)

You want to get into an argument about politics, philosophy, or religion? Then you best come prepared or you’re about to get served.

6. We’re Gorgeous

I’m not going to pretend like Wisconsin doesn’t have it’s share of weight related issues, but I also don’t care.

Even those of us who do have a few extra pounds are strong, confident, and beautiful. Deal with it.

Plus, if you’ll take a look at WhooNEW’s article 40 Famous People From Wisconsin you’ll see actresses like Heather Graham from The Hangover and Jessica Szohr from Gossip Girl fame.

Not to mention that the 2012 Miss America Laura Kaeppeler was from Wisconsin. (Fyi, she’s a pretty interesting individual and her platform was advocating mentoring the children of incarcerated individuals.)

In conclusion, yeah, we’re smoking. Game, set, match.

7. We Know How to Party

I’ve been debating if I should mention this, but we can drink like an otherworldly Norse super power. (And here I’m definitely using the pejorative “we”, I’m a total lightweight.)

But aside from our impressive drinking ability, we know how to have fun period.

When you grow up in a town where the only thing open after ten is a Wall Mart you learn how to entertain yourself.

Spend one night out with some Wisconsin ladies and you will never forget it.

Take a moment to update that OkCupid profile and add “seeking Lady Cheesehead.” It’s okay. We’ll wait. You’ll be glad you did.

Wisconsin Gurls

Check out this spoof of Katy Perry’s song! What is it that you think makes Wisconsin women unique? How about the guys? Leave a comment and let us know.

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Comments

  1. Here’s another quite humorous parody version of Wisconsin Girls (spelled correctly): http://youtu.be/QNTAFi0WHpw

  2. Reason #8 – Wisconsin women know their sports and tailgate as if it were their job!

  3. I think number 1 on this list should be….get to be a packer fan by association.

  4. I’m a Cheesehead transplanted in South Dakota. I follow your blog because it helps when I get homesick. 🙂 You’ve pretty much described most South Dakota girls minus the meth, calling bags “sacks” (because we all know it’s a football term and not a container to hold your purchases at the store), and the biggest sports rivalry in this state would rather toss the carcasses of their rival’s mascots onto the basketball court than serve them up at a tailgate party like it should be done. Plus I get weird looks when I call the drinking fountain a bubbler. It’s not my fault that I’m the only one who knows the proper name for it. 😉

    • We’re glad you find this site. It can get lonely when you’re away from the Big Cheese. I related to your bubbler dilemma. I used to live in Iowa and people would give me the strangest looks whenever it’d come up in conversation. Sounds like South Dakota girls on the whole are pretty awesome. Glad to hear it!

  5. RIGHT ON!We also drink from a,”BUBBLER”&know what it is! WI IS THE GENIUS STATE~didn’t even use spellcheck;)!Have you ever attempted to have a conversation w/an out of stater?(CLUELESS)Talk about slaughtering the English language!(Really not trying to rip “others” apart just,proud to be a WI WOMAN&equally proud to be an AMERICAN!)My daughter even has the outline of WI tattooed on her leg!PAIN?¿-what’s that!? 100% WISCONSIN GIRL

  6. rachel67ls says:

    We can also hold a conversation about sports with men. What good would it be to love sports and not be able to discuss, say, the pros and cons of our gorgeous QB? 🙂 Wait, the gorgeous part would be discussed with other awesome WI women… 😉

  7. You guys didn’t surf the list of top 100 smartest cities in America very well. You missed more Wisconsin entries. Shame! Shame! Granted we share a few with our neighbor Minnesota, but we are all friends aren’t we?

    Milwaukee area at 26
    La Crosse area at 36
    Twin Cities (including part of Wisconsin): 33
    Stevens Point at 48
    Eau Clare at 92
    Duluth-Superior at 69

  8. #8. They are 200+lbs so you know they shade in the summer and heat in the winter.

  9. we are fing gorgeous!! we are fun to be around!! we are smart…..we love our PACKERS BABY!!! BAM!!

  10. Responding to all of the above comments, I moved from WI when I was 18. Couldn’t wait to get out of Milwaukee. Traveled with my best friend at the time. I do love WI. I have now lived in VT for the greater years of my life. My children were born in Maui. I love VT. When I visit WI, which hasn’t been since my mom died 2009, it always seems to be about the drinking. Beer, and whatever, but I don’t enjoy that. Happy for you WI ladies. It is, and always will be the place where I was born.

  11. AND we’re not from MN 😉

  12. Barry Koller says:

    We have 1970’s Gyna’s

    • I think I know what you’re talking about, Barry (although I’m confused as to why you used the word “we”). Not necessarily true for all WI women I’ve met – but if all-natural is what you like, that’s what you like.

  13. So cringe worthy, and I live less than a mile from lambeau. Im sure this list was 100x harder to make than a list of “reasons you shouldnt date wisconsin women” , which ill start off with at: Beer Guts, Complaining about the weather, and thinking theyre from California

    • This was an easy list for me to make because I’ve known a lot of fantastic, wonderful, funny Wisconsin women. Apparently you have had a different experience.

  14. Meh.. your describing country girls, not just WI girls. Women who are comfortable not conforming to annoying gender roles opposed to city girls who embrace them.

    The only unique redeeming quality of WI women is they cheer for the Packers.

  15. I grew up in a suburb of milwaukee and I miss it. Even after 3o years in atlanta. wisconsin is a great state.

  16. 1. I suppose so, but strictly in the “I can take the cold” sense. Otherwise I would say our women are no tougher than most. Childbirth makes all women tougher. 2. Absolutely, mainly because they don’t have filters like southern women. 3. Country girls maybe, but this is a stretch. 4. This is all women everywhere, certainly not unique to Wisconsin. 5. Absolutely.

    6. Sure there are plenty of beautiful women, but this is certainly not Wisconsin’s forte. Wisconsin women put less importance on looks, which is why they tend to be smarter and develope a sense of humor. Obesity is a huge problem in this state, we’re not fashionable by any stretch of the imagination, and we’re a very white-washed homogenous state. We certainly do not rank high on the list of state’s with the most attractive women when judging on surface only. With that being said, I’m glad we don’t judge on surface as much as other states.

    7. Hell ya they do. Wisconsin women are fun. This is why I love them. Also, I think you need to look up the word pejorative. It does not make sense in that sentence, unless you are seeking to disparage “we.” I think the phrases you’re going for is the “proverbial we.” Sorry to be a grammar Nazi, but like Wisconsin women, Wisconsin men also tell it like it is.

    I’m a Wisconsin man. I love Wisconsin. I love Wisconsin women and I’m marrying a wonderful one at that.

    • Chuck Flack says:

      My point of view? Wisconsin men don’t need any reasons to love wisco women. We know that when we are lucky enough to get one to like us, we’ve hit the jackpot! If we find one that loves us, well, ’nuff said.

    • Thank you so much for taking the time to read the article and leave a lot of good comments. Good call on the “pejorative we.” You’re right, that is NOT the correct word and I’m not sure what I meant to say. When I can think of a good way to reword it, I will change it.

      You raise a lot of points there, but I wanted to respond to number six in particular. I think people of all shapes and sizes can be beautiful. Obesity, obviously, isn’t healthy and isn’t just “a few extra pounds”, but even so I know lots of curvy ladies in my life that are gorgeous. So I guess I disagree with you there, but I appreciate the sentiment.

      Again, thanks for reading!

  17. Marissa Mayer CEO of Yahoo is a Sconi girl!

  18. I’m a transplant, and after 37 years I consider myself a Wisconsin woman and am proud of it.

  19. GREAT story Grace! If you ever find yourself back in ‘Gosling’ territory during the winter, let this former UCC-er take you snowmobiling. Not only will it give you a new appreciation for winter, but you’ll experience God’s creation from a whole new perspective… the beauty of the world blanketed in white, in places a car can’t get too! 🙂

  20. I am a US Army Paratrooper, born and raised in Milwaukee. I miss Wisconsin women so much it brings a tear to my eye. I am rapidly working on my second divorce because I decided to marry twice outside of my people (Wisconsinites, lol) and it just seems like Wisconsin women are just so much better and understanding of the way we as Wisconsin men think and behave. Not to say that marriage can’t work between two people from different states, just didn’t work for me. I am a black man, I’m not a “thug”, I wear belts, drink beer, and jump from airplanes for a living. I love Wisconsin and I make sure everywhere the Army sends me that everyone knows where home truly is for me! Go Packers, Go! SSG M, RC-SW, AFGN, out!

  21. not a cheesehead because a MN cartoonists invented that... says:

    Ironically, PBR is located in LA now. Moved from Milwaukee. PBR belongs in the California Gurls video now.

  22. Love being a Cheesehead…spent 2 years in the Twin Cities attending the U before relocating to finish my undergrad down here in Florida! Def. miss home (Milwaukee), although I probably won’t live there again…I like having it close where when I want to go home I can. In the south, Wisconsinites are so foreign. And since it’s constantly hot here…every time I ask “Where is the bubbler?” Floridians are like…the what? 0_o

    • Thanks for reading. We definitely feel your pain on the bubbler thing. By the way, if you haven’t already, you should be sure to check out our article, “The Real Reason Why We Call it a ‘Bubbler’ in Wisconsin (And Who Else Does Too).” It’s here if you want to read-http://whoonew.com/2013/03/why-a-bubbler/

      Hope sunny Florida is suiting you well!

  23. Joyce Giebel says:

    no one mentioned that Wisconsin women are also great hunters and can keep up with the best of the men w love to shoot and hunt I started out with my boyfriend (now my husband) at the age of 14 and went squirrel hunting it was really fun graduated to deer hunting after marriage and then went antelope hunting in Wyoming did not see many women out there but I know a lot of them here in good old Wisconsin who love it and do it without their spouses. Both gun and Bow go get em girls

  24. Even though I live in Wisconsin and have my whole life, I don’t have weight issues, I decided to become a vegan for health reasons. Also I do drink but I am not a big drinker, I’m not into going to the bar getting drunk and making a complete ass of myself, I’ll have a few sips of something and that’s it. I love that Jessica Szohr is from Wisconsin, she is my second favorite actress after Sarah Michelle Gellar. I’m not a cheesehead, this girl is basketball fan and I like the Los Angeles Lakers.

    • There’s definitely a lot of variety in the kinds of people from Wisconsin. Congrats on being a vegan, I know it’s not always an easy lifestyle but it’s great you make it work. I have several Wisconsin born and breed vegan friends, so I’m glad to hear there are more out there.

      And Sarah Michelle Gellar rocks. Thanks for the comment!

  25. WI is a great state with great folks of all kinds (i am a UW grad from ME). proof: ‘that 70s show’ was based on WI ‘life’. ok, still a great state etc.

  26. I think I’ll stick with Californian women

  27. Skip the ice cream says:

    Sheesh… You’ll find ladies in Milwaukee and Madison. The rest of the livestock in this state need to discover exercise and lay off the bar food diet.

    • Skip – sounds like sour grapes to me. Can’t get a woman so they must be fat and ugly.

      Why don’t you tell that to Victoria’s Secret model Frankie Rayder, former Miss Americas Laura Kaeppler and Terry Anne Meuewsen, actress Kristin Bauer Vanstraten, or actress Jessica Szohr. None of them are from Milwaukee or Madison.

      Hell – even Barbie is from Wisconsin.

  28. Hi guys! I’m diehard Cheesehead and I made a short film about a Packers fan and a Chicago Bears fan on a date. Feel free to check it out !http://youtu.be/dqhdCyfR_6I

  29. Liked the videowwww

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